It’s that time of year again.
Suitcases are packed. The dorm room has been decorated. Parents are making one last Target run for the things their college student swears they need.
And somewhere between the mini-fridge, shower caddy and extra-long twin sheets, many parents are wondering:
Will my kid actually take care of themselves once I'm not there to remind them?
Will they work out?
Will they eat something besides pizza?
Will they get enough sleep?
Will they drink enough water?
Or will they stay up until 3 a.m., survive on energy drinks and dining-hall fries, and decide that walking across campus counts as their workout?
The answer is probably… a little bit of everything.
They May Surprise You
For the first time, your college student is making most of their own decisions.
That's exciting—but it can also be terrifying for parents.
You've spent 18 years reminding them to eat breakfast, get outside, drink water, go to bed, move their body and occasionally eat something green.
Now?
You're not there.
But here's the thing: they've been watching you all along.
- Maybe they rolled their eyes when you went to the gym.
- Maybe they complained when you encouraged everyone to eat a healthier dinner.
- Maybe they ignored your advice about getting enough sleep.
- Maybe they absolutely did rebel and eat exactly what they wanted whenever they could.
- But that doesn't mean they weren't paying attention.
- Our kids absorb far more from what we do than from what we tell them.
If they've watched you make exercise part of your life, choose nutritious foods, take walks, drink water or prioritize your health—even while occasionally eating ice cream on the couch—they've been seeing what a healthy lifestyle can look like.
And those habits may eventually become their own.
College Is a Huge Adjustment
It's also worth remembering that college isn't simply a continuation of high school with more freedom.
For many students, it's a completely new environment.
They're meeting new people, managing their own schedules, navigating academics, possibly working, dealing with homesickness and figuring out who they are.
So don't expect them to suddenly become the most disciplined version of themselves.
There may be weeks when they eat beautifully and go to the gym regularly.
And there may be weeks when their idea of nutrition is a bagel at midnight.
That's normal.
The goal isn't perfection. It's helping them develop enough awareness to eventually make healthy choices on their own.
So What Can Parents Actually Say?
This is where it gets tricky.
Because there's a fine line between encouraging your child to take care of themselves and making them feel like you're still parenting them from 500 miles away.
Nobody wants the daily text:
“Did you work out today?”
Or:
“What did you eat?”
Or:
“You really need to start taking better care of yourself.”
Even if you're absolutely right.
Instead, try shifting from monitoring to encouraging.
You might say:
“I hope you'll find some kind of movement you enjoy while you're at school. It doesn't have to be the gym—walk around campus, take a class, play a sport, whatever makes you feel good.”
Or:
“Remember how much better you feel when you're sleeping and eating well. Take care of yourself—you've got a lot going on.”
Or simply:
“Have fun, take care of yourself, and listen to your body.”
Then let it go.
Sometimes the less we lecture, the more likely our kids are to actually hear us.
Don't Make Health About Weight
This is an especially important one.
College is a time when young people are developing their relationship with food, exercise and their bodies.
Rather than focusing on weight, calories or appearance, encourage them to think about how healthy habits make them feel.
- Exercise can help with stress.
- Eating nutritious food can help with energy and concentration.
- Sleep can make studying—and pretty much everything else—easier.
- Movement can be a great way to meet people and explore a new campus.
- Healthy habits aren't about looking a certain way.
- They're about having the energy and physical and mental capacity to enjoy your life.
Maybe Give Them One Simple Challenge
Instead of sending your child off with a list of 25 health rules, give them one simple piece of advice:
Move every day.
It doesn't have to be a formal workout.
Walk to class.
Take the stairs.
Join an intramural team.
Go for a run.
Take a fitness class.
Play pickleball.
Explore the campus on foot.
Dance in your dorm room.
Whatever.
The goal is simply to avoid spending every waking hour sitting.
And if they discover an activity they genuinely enjoy? Even better.
And Yes… Let Them Figure Some Things Out
This might be the hardest part of sending a child off to college.
- You can't control what they eat.
- You can't make them go to the gym.
- You can't make them go to bed at a reasonable hour.
- And you can't protect them from every bad decision.
- But you can trust that you've given them a foundation.
- Maybe they won't use all of it right away.
- Maybe they'll make some mistakes.
- Maybe they'll discover that living on ramen noodles doesn't feel particularly great after a few weeks.
- That's part of growing up.
- Eventually, they have to become the person responsible for their own health.
- And that transition doesn't happen because we give them one last lecture before they leave.
- It happens gradually, through all those little things they've watched us do over the years.
Parents, Take a Breath
So as you drive away from that dorm, try to resist the urge to wonder whether they're going to the campus gym or eating vegetables.
You did your job.
You taught them.
You modeled healthy habits.
You gave them opportunities to learn.
Now it's their turn to figure out what works for them.
And maybe—just maybe—you'll get a text a few weeks into the semester that says:
“I went to a workout class today. It was actually really fun.”
And when that happens?
Don't say, “See? I told you so.”
Just say:
“That's awesome. I'm glad you found something you enjoy.”
Then smile.
Because sometimes the best thing we can do for our kids' health is give them the freedom to make it their own.